There's this woman at my work who's about 7 months pregnant, but who looks about 12 months pregnant because she's about 4 feet tall and normally weighs about 80 pounds. Whenever asked whether she's excited about having her first baby, she makes no bones about the fact that "this kid was an accident". Charming.
Y'know, at first I'd just roll my eyes and think "Gee, how classy of her to tell everyone that her pregnancy was a mistake...", but now I'm beginning to get very upset every time I hear her complain about every single aspect of her pregnancy. Ahhh heck, who am I kidding? I'm not starting to get very upset, this has actually been pissing me off for a while now.
She refers to her baby as "it", as in "Ewww...it moved again and it made my stomach giggle. I wish it would stop doing that!" and "If it thinks it's going to have a crib in our bedroom after it's born, it has another thing coming...I'm gonna break it of that bad habit (ie. wanting to sleep in Mommy and Daddy's room) from day one!"
Apparently the ultrasound consultants have informed her that she's expecting a baby boy (she explained "Shit, the pregnancy was enough of a surprise. I certainly wasn't going to wait to find out its gender". Whenever someone says to her "Gee...you really look like you're going to have a girl!", she exclaims "Well, this thing better be a fucking boy, 'cause I'll freak if they got it wrong after I bought all that stuff for it".
Oh...and she drinks. Ok, I admit I haven't seen her get, like, drunk or anything, but at our office Christmas party, when she was 3 months pregnant or so, she totally took a large cup of booze!
Why is the world so unfair? Why is she having a baby and not me? I feel so sorry for her baby already.
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